Reflections on Thanksgiving Day

One week ago we shared Thanksgiving Day.  My husband and I usually drive to California and spend the time with his kids and our grandkids but this year they had other plans with the other side of the family. So we had to make our own holiday plans.

“How ’bout going to a nice buffet?” Ernie offered.

I replied, “Y’know hon, at the end of our lives together someday, I don’t want to think the years we didn’t make the trek from Las Vegas to California, we never enjoyed our own traditions.  All we did was wait in line for two hours in a casino with the bells ding-dinging and the lights flashing, only to overeat sub-standard, factory-made food.” You consider these things when you get married later in life.

I told him I wanted to do a Thanksgiving dinner for “orphans.  Not real orphans.  People who don’t have family here or a place to go for turkey dinner and pumpkin pie. There are lots of them in Las Vegas.  Many have a job, a warm home and a dependable car. But no one to bow their head and share grace with. No one to be with the fourth Thursday in November.

When I lived in San Diego before meeting my husband I was grateful to the people who invited me to their holiday dinners.  I’d bring a big salad or a nice dessert.  Being in the company of others on a holiday is important.  This year I wanted to share what I’ve been so generously given Thanksgivings past.

So, I planned.  Me, Ernie and four others. Six people, most in our 50s.  Still wanting to experience a holiday connection even if we aren’t related.

A man going through a difficult divorce and the loss of his business due to the economy.

A woman whose elderly husband is in the hospital with dementia.  She’s been his tireless caretaker for a decade.

A man whose lost almost everything. Struggling to pay for a rented room and a cell phone to stay in contact with others. Trying with every breath left to recreate his life.

A woman who owned a successful hair salon and rental properties who now has a little booth in the back of someone else’s salon to cut hair.

After Ernie said grace we went around the table and spoke about what we’re grateful for: health, inquisitive minds, family across the country, hope in the future, faith and the will to fight back from adversity.

Ernie and I own our small home. But we don’t have a proper dining room. We have a dining nook that barely seats four. So, I moved things around in my office. I rented a table that seemed the right size to fit six comfortably, dusted everything with Pledge and packed away my laptop, the printer and the file piles.

It was a lot of fun. We enjoyed dinner and later ate dessert in the living room. We also played a spirited, competitive round of Trivial Pursuit.  Afterward each person said something like, “I didn’t think it would bother me being at home myself for the holiday – but I’m so glad you invited me.”

This is the start of another holiday season.  There might be someone you work with, a neighbor or even a friend of a friend.  They might be too proud to say it – but they honestly don’t have a family to share their holiday with. They can bring the asparagus, or a bottle of wine. Or, they may offer to do the dishes so you can relax.

Why not invite them to join your festivities?

3 Responses to “Reflections on Thanksgiving Day”

  • Denise, you illustrate in this blog post what Thanksgiving is all about! Very nicely done. I love the idea of going around the table and mentioning what you’re thankful for. We do that in our family at various times. The answer that really got me was being thankful for an inquisitive mind. So very true! You obviously have one as well.

    Good one and a great reminder to all of us in the midst of this flurry of food, fun and presents — that life is about caring for each other.

    Melissa

  • Lovely, Denise. This holiday season, I was inspired to host 44 Grief Transformation Radio Shows. On Thanksgiving Eve I talked about Memories and invited people to share the wide variety of life experiences of loved ones living and dead. On Thanksgiving I shared a wide variety of quotes about Gratitude and how to use gratitude to find the path to healing. My youngest daughter and I decided to create a simple vegetarian meal and to eat after the show. We agreed that this year, the way to celebrate is for me to show up on the show every night, including Christmas Eve and Christmas. She is here in full support. Some of my favorite Thanksgivings were the years have been the years individuals joined us to form a community meal. Blessings and love to you all…

  • I want to Thank you and Ernie for having us “orphans” over for Thanksgiving dinner. You did a great job on everything and made for a very nice Holiday.

    Looking to see what new and exciting places you find around town for dining and new recipes you come up with. Being I live close by, so feel free to call me over to do some taste testing and reviews. I work cheap…feed me lol

    Mark

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